Publication 1104
By George Trialonis on
Saturday, May 17, 2008
at
02:01
Location:
Greece
Registered:
Friday, May 16, 2008
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27
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THE BOOK OF JUDAS
Three days before the Passover
My Master sent for me to say:
�Judas, I bid thee search the market for
A Book unwrit and cloth�d in red.�
�Where in the market, Master, and
What inscription this Unscripture bears?
And pray tell me to what end
Thy bid compares.�
The Master laughed and raised his hands
To touch mine throbbing neck in loving care,
And to ears propensed to obedience
Whispered thus � seeing not, but ever aware
Of eleven spiteful looks of burning glare.
�Beloved Judas, on such forward and guileless lips
As yours, little angels test their airy wings
Before they descend on punic scripts
that hold peoples� minds in eclipse.
�The Book is in the care of Uriel,
A vender blind and ear lobeless.
Ask him if he the name of the Lord ever sung,
And he to thee his outer garment shall impart,
The left pocket of which is committed to conceal
The Book; and the message Uriel shall speak.�
Thro� the dimmed Jerusalem market stalls,
Deaf to the din and clatter and calls,
I search�d for Uriel whose nipp�d ears never tire
In the service of my Master�s desire.
�Who�s Uriel?� I asked a boy in rags and in fingers fast.
The boy raised his grubby digit and pointed
To the stall of the market�s biblioclast,
And there stood the man whose visage I searched.
�Hast thou the name of the Lord ever sung?�
I asked Uriel in manner rather urgent.
He rolled his cloudy eyes to the sky strung
With pins of shimmering light and
Handed me his garment in acknowledgement.
Then, he spoke thus:
�Thirty pieces of silver, Judas,
Thirty Shekels of Tyre*,
Are yours to receive
For a kiss to surrender thine Sire.�
-------------------------------------------
*Shekels of Tyre
Publication 1111
By George Trialonis on
Monday, May 19, 2008
at
11:38
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Greece
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Friday, May 16, 2008
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27
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Even gut reactions will be appreciated.
Thank you: George
Publication 1113
By Arcadian on
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
at
11:29
Location:
Australia
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Friday, July 30, 2004
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63
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Hi George,
My gut feel ...
The theme and treatment is interesting. It is a biblical theme, so you should be careful: are you rewording a biblical scenario we all know ? and hence predictable or is there something surprising you want to convey with new insights ?
Also, nobody talks like this today. Modern readers would struggle with archaic word usage and the elision to fit the meter. To my ears,I found the rhyme a little forced
Still it is brave effort to write meter and you will have to agree is very difficult to get all the components right.
cheers
Nicos
Publication 1114
By George Trialonis on
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
at
03:18
Location:
Greece
Registered:
Friday, May 16, 2008
Posts:
27
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Yes, the theme is linked with the Bible, but it is also fictitious. It rests on the alternative idea of Judas which we get from the translation of the true Book of Judas.
I thought the "antique" language fits the subject matter (perhaps I was wrong). This made it difficult for me to handle the meter at some points in the poem.
However, a number of words and descriptions are used, e.g. "unscripture", blind vendor vs. "Uriel", the Book vs. "biblioclast", a.o., the juxtaposition of which could excite the imagination.
Surely, the poem needs to be reworked, which I intend to do many times before I am completely satisfied with it. However, this may take years, unless I throw the poem in the trash-can in the meantime.
Thanks for reading and your comments.
George
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The Book of Judas
